Greetings to whoever is following this blog. Actually I don't think there's anyone, as my viewer calculator said zero. Am not sad , as I never plan this blog to be those blog that anyone would follow crazily. In addition, my broken English probably repelled many out there from following this blog.
I am writing this post for giving future self a note that I have graduated with a Bachelor of Science's degree in Molecular, Cellular and Developmental Biology, and now I am waiting for my EAD card to be approved. I hope it comes out by this month.... As of now, I am learning a little of R and Python programming language because why not. Actually because I don't see how I can advance forward without programming background in my future. Most of biological data are going to be in expressed with computer and we must know how to read, access and interpret those data.
I wasn't very motivated at first because I felt that I needed a break from studies and such, but feelings change after I finished reading the Beta Version of the novel I described on my previous post. The story itself is indeed very different from the Alpha version. I read only the deaf girl's route, as her's wasn't satisfying on the alpha route. The beta story had more story and richer than the alpha version's, however, there were a lot of grammatical errors, as expected from it's beta status. I love the story as how it address the handicap that the girl has, more than in the alpha version, where the issue of being deaf (it's disadvantage and, surprisingly, advantage) is not played as strongly. The alpha version only talked about how her competitiveness got the best out of her, whereas in beta version, the problem came from her deafness itself. I heard the written purposefully wanted to make this character less of a handicap, and more of a normal person. I understand what he/she wanted, as there are people out there who are handicap but lives normally and mostly deal with problems outside of being handicap. However, making a unique story has its downside, that it may not address much of the theme. I came to this novel, wanting to understand how broken people cope with life, and not super interested with stories that are commonly told in typical high school shounen/shoujo. But that's just my trashy opinion. Also the story in the beta is less corny as the one in the alpha. But the beta is darker than the alpha, as someone suicides in the story, but I think the writer justified that part well. Aside the grammar though, reading a beta story has its major downside, which is the writing on minor part of the story. Many minor parts are skipped, for example when the 2 characters were going on a date, the novel skipped the entire date and explained that both came home... and that's it. A lot of short time skips, but certainly we could imagine that nothing major happened. The main reason I felt motivated is because the beta version is great, and I was able to embrace the girl's philosophy in relationship, more than in the alpha version. Both in alpha and beta, the girl had the believe that one must challenge the other in order for both of them to grow. I didn't buy this statement as much on the alpha version, as the story itself pissed me off and I wasn't able to appreciate the content as much. But now I am into her even more, and I had this feeling that I want her even more. Just to clarify, I am already satisfied with my current lover, as loyalty is my main priority. However, I do like girls that challenges life itself, which drives me to want to beat her. My lover though, is a very chill person, so sometimes I just never had the drive to make myself better. The only motivation I have is to get a good job, get citizenship else where, and immigrate her with me. But other than that.... nothing really had driven me to be a competitive person. But as I read the novel, I had this feeling of familiarity of trying to surpass someone before. That was none other than the person I described mediumly in the 1st blog. I believe, it was her that I tried to beat, that's why my grade skyrocketed from ABCDE, to AAAAA. And just recently, I got from my lover that she was interviewed and posted in the university and linkedin website.
Link: https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:6551429078912729088/
I must say, she always beat me in something. I think she's the first in my class to have this kind of acknowledgement? I don't know what this is called, Joan please tell me. I expected other A* students to earn these kind of recognition faster than her. No offence, but I always thought Nat would be the one who would come out in the newspaper or online paper or something. But the idea is.... when I read her post, while Skyping my darl, I had the feeling of guilt. I did bad things to her and I really want to apologize. All I had in mind is how she built her life so well that her luck is always high, in terms of academic and career wise. I can't stop this feeling of wanting to praise her and... most of all... apologize for my stupidity. With negativity aside.... I want to see her as my challenge again. Trying to surpass her silently, so I have the motivation to move on. I do hope that she will get published again or something so I can get more motivation to do things that can sharpen my future.
With the main points written, I should end this now, as Im hungry, and this blog supposed to act as my data collection, to see if Zipf's Law plays in my writing.
Silent Challenger
