Introduction

Sigh.... Here we go again with the introduction for every blog...1st, I would like to welcome you to the blog that probably I did not give twice shit about the audience. This is more like an open diary where if someone really stalks me enough, they will get the reward of knowing my past.

So what is special here? Here, in this blog, I would enter the determination of my future as I'm going to apply to a grad school. How will my relationship with the girl from 2nd blog go, where I go and.... ya.... Why am I doubting about the girl from 2nd blog? It's more like... I really want her to be happy, and if I were the cause to her sadness, I would think over of doing what her friend called YM did; which is to "split" path for the moment, and if love is still going great by the time I get residency in some other country, we would be together again. But if we were to find our happiness with someone else... that would be the end of our chance of going back, but we will be like blood siblings after that, or even better (at least to what I think and willing to do). What makes me doubt? It is because I'm stressing over the obtaining residency on different country, since I do not want to go back to where I came from (no future there). Even if I were to go back... I doubt the life I have with that girl from 2nd blog would ever be sweet as we imagined. That's why I would consider the other option so the both of us can be happy. It's really sad to think about it. We dreamt and plan about what our house will be, what pets, what car, even name for children for duck sake... We are just so deeply rooted, that I kind of think that I would even think the life with another person will even be nice. Life just.... sucked I guess. But again, I said the same thing when I end friendship with the 1st blog girl. I was all like

"OMG... how is life going to be? All I have in mind was her... all my future image has her in it...all....."

Yeap, that gay. And guess what, just couple months later, I all recovered (before dating the girl from 2nd blog). But still... I would say this one would take years or even... never if we were to still communicate and stuff. But again, if both of us come to this conclusion... I would, deep in my heart, have to still appreciate her for rescuing me from my depressed caused by 1st blog girl. She is just to perfect to be forgotten. At least, if we were to leave each other, we would leave with no regret... hopefully... i hope. And about that lab girl, I think I ruined the bridge to be friendly and instead being a creep now because I forgot what happened. I think I visited the lab hour at hours that she would never expected anyone. 
Been feeling empty these days... due to bad scores from classes.... need to study for freaking GRE for grad school entrance, since my 4 year degree is NOT enough...need to have another recommendation letters.... need to write a fucking personal statement, as if my choice is not enough. I just need some physical interactions right now. I need a hug... but as you know my girl won't be here till I don't know when. The lab girl: And since she sees me more than any other times this week, as well as me trying to offer her company since she said she was going to be out late (this one Im just neutral though, I was just being nice that day. I HONESTLY just wanna go home after looking at my lousy protein experiment. luckily she said she was fine.). All in all, its a good news that I finally get rid myself of a factor that would potentially make me show any affection that is none other Joan. So I win this game.
Let's look at the nicer things that happens this week... wait.. nothing. I got one of the highest for my developmental class though. Other than that, I'm just sad. Oh ya, tomorrow class at 12:30 PM. I can sleep like a pig today. Why discriminating pig though?

Introduction