Misleading Opera

Probably not gonna that about what I promised before.

But I want to write about more regarding the statement "we perceive things as how we want it to be." I am pretty sure I wrote something similar to this back in the previous post. Instead of discussing this logic regarding to flatter ourselves by the action of another, I want to write more about how we use the same logic on song lyrics to justify our actions (or giving us false motivation).

I don't know if other humans are like this, but I tend to listen to songs back then and try to use the lyrics to motivate myself. But instead of really trying to understand what each sentence in the lyrics meant, I, either just listen to some parts of the song and skip the others or literally/VOLUNTARILY, make myself believe that the song 100% relates to my life so that I can feel as if I am not in the boat alone, eventhough the song has a different purpose/motive(?). And it is also funny that when we look back at some of these songs that we listened to during our "love phase," we noticed that some of the lyrics don't actually meant what you believe it was before. 

Note that i am not typing these at home, I am actually in UW Southlake Union right now, sitting using a desk formally used by a post doc name Mario, waiting for my virgin UAS-Dcr2; nos-Gal4 virgins to hatch (need to cross them later with the Atg RNAi lines, as well as Tsc RNAi lines).

Back to topic, I want to emphasize the fact that I do not know if anyone of you were as stupid as me, in terms of trying to do the above (the song part). So if I am really that retarded, then I.... am retarded.... Whatever.... Instead of me going through theories, I would rather just use a song that I engraved in my heart long ago, back when I was still in the 1st blog drama.

I will write the lyrics, as well as how I'll define the lyrics as before and today.

Song title: Heaven Knows, by Rick Price

She's always on my mind
From the time I wake up 'til I close my eyes
She's everywhere I go
She's all I know

Before and Now: I see this part similarly to how I interpret it before. It's really like a weird feeling where she is always on your mind, whenever/wherever you are. I recall it was very taxing to have such a feeling, but I wasn't able to get out of it. The worst is when I start laughing/giggling at anything, her face would have popped out in my head a second after that. Could that be me trying to relate her to my happiness?

And though she's so far away
It just keeps gettin' stronger, every day
And even now she's gone

Before: I always see it as she is so close, yet so far, eventhough it is vague here. The "gone" I believed in the past was when she no longer want to look into me as her potential, where in actual fact, she never had. 

Now: I just think this part is trying to convey the idea that the girl had physically moved out town, yet the singer still builds his lover for her; probably because the singer and the guy were already dating and somehow they break up, and the guy finally see how separation has made him realized how much he actually loved her. 

I'm still holding on
So tell me where do I start
'Cause it's breakin' my heart
Don't want to let her go

Before: I conveyed to myself hard that this means "I am hoping that she would just like me back... somehow." When I was like this, I also begged the question of how to maintain my emotion like that forever? What should I do in order to get her like me and break me out of the misery? Where should I start? And all I know is, I don't want to stop loving her because I was desperate in trying to get her out of her sad life as well. I recall I always see her life as "some one who's lost." And to guide someone out of that is what I would sacrifice myself for.

Now: Probably he realized how much she was important to him, and he begged the question on how to get this girl back to him (where should he start?). And the 2 lines are obviously because of the same reason, he can't leave her because he just realized her value to his life. This song actually fits in the  summarized scenario of :couples fight, break, boy regret, girl find other boy, boy sad, boy make song. 

Maybe my love will come back some day
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows

Before: As memory serves, I always never had the 1st part understood and i randomly perceive is as some other lyric. "Maybe my love will come back some day" I took this as if my definition of love, or my quest of love itself has lost its meaning because I am in love with someone that probably don't love me back. Which... is still considered "love," so I don't know how I went so far in trying to twist the lyrics, where I knew it wasn't defining what the lyrics meant. The rest is pretty similar to how I see it today.

Now: When he say "my love" he probably is referring to the girl. It's quite a common pet calling(?) where someone calls their significant others "my love." And the rest is basically hoping that the girl would love him back again, and that's why all he can do is hope and pray. What would happen if he just aggressively chase after her though? 

My friends keep tellin' me
That if you really love her
You've gotta set her free
And if she returns in kind
I'll know she's mine
But tell me where do I start
'Cause it's breakin' my heart
Don't want to let her go

Before: 1st 3 lines is as obvious as it is. I did not misled this part because someone in my class literally said the same thing to me. What is weird is the 4th and 5th line. I took those lines before as separate sentences. I took the 4th line as "As if she returns in kind," which made myself meant "as if she would return to me and love me directly ( I honestly thought this quantum defying thing could happen)." And the 5th line as just "I know she's mine," which obviously trying to further fool myself that she is fated to be mine. This shows just how loving someone could make yourself blinder than a blind person. 

Now: The 3rd line is connected to the 4th and 5th line. If he set her free, he could finally attain peace in himself. 4th line is more of saying "who knows if she would come back," so not only the guy would attain peace in himself, but he also would still be playing the chance of having the woman coming back to him. And if that happens, that would be great, since 1) the guy doesn't have to continuously suffer while waiting (or he could just not wait), 2) if she returns, all he got to do is to began loving her back and 3) when a woman/man comes back after hardship, usually is because they have finally opened themselves to change that had cause the hole in the relationship. If he doesn't let her go, he'd probably just suffer, at the same time waiting on the person to come back.  I probably could summarize this part as "if you see your best friend suffer of love, you would tell them to move on and if she comes back, then oh lalala).

Maybe my love will come back some day
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows

Why I live in despair
'Cause wide awake or dreaming
I know she's never there

Before: 1st line same, only 2nd and 3rd  line. I took the 2nd and 3rd as one sentence and slightly misled the lyrics. I said it as "Cause why we go dreaming, while I know she's never there." It's really funny that I LITERALLY added words that were never there, yet at that time I believed real hard that they where there when I listened to it 911 times. I don't have to explain why I heard what I heard since it is quite clear to you what I am trying to convey in that part.

Now: I think he is just in agony because as long as he exist to love her, she is never there. I honestly still IDK in this part.

And all the time I act so brave
I'm shaking inside
Why does it hurt me so

Before: I literally ignored this part, since I had no idea how it would biasly relate to me.

Now: Still IDK.

Maybe my love will come back some day
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows


Well that's all about it. As we can see, we perceive things as how we want them to be. And it gets worst when you are in love. Just how pathetic we (or at least I am) are when we are in love... trying to get someone and use songs to justify our actions and feelings. 



Misleading Opera